


What Happens at the Rabbit Hole

by lizandletdie



Series: 500 Follower Promptathon [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2014-06-22
Packaged: 2018-02-05 16:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1825294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizandletdie/pseuds/lizandletdie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on my Any Port in a Storm universe, someone wanted to see what would happen if they met at the Rabbit Hole rather than early that day.</p><p>The answer, of course, is that Lacey causes a scene and Gold has no idea what hit him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Happens at the Rabbit Hole

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Any Port in a Storm](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1783156) by [lizandletdie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizandletdie/pseuds/lizandletdie). 



> Oooh ooh APIAS AU where the first time they meet is when Lacey is leaving from a night of drinking at the Rabbit Hole and Gold has just collected the Rabbit Hole's rent.
> 
> I hate that I have to do this, but apparently I do. If you're reading this fic anywhere besides AO3, it was posted without my consent and likely profited someone else. Please consider [donating](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_donations&business=CZNGXGNP4PRX4&lc=US&item_name=The%20Mantis%20Fund&currency_code=USD&bn=PP%2dDonationsBF%3abtn_donate_SM%2egif%3aNonHosted) or swinging by my Tumblr (standbyyourmantis) to let me know what you thought!

The Rabbit Hole was a, well, a hole.  Gold hated it, but as long as their rent was paid on time he had no reason to foreclose either.  It still didn’t mean he enjoyed collecting there in person — especially when he was running late and was forced to socialize with what the proprietor generously referred to as clientele.  Unfortunately, this month he’d been held up by various things (mostly the mayor deciding she desperately needed to speak to him  _now_  about things he didn’t remember happening) and was forced to either collect after dark or accept payment late.  He’d rather risk the clientele, although he always tried to avoid touching any surfaces while he was inside the building anyway.

The fact that it was Monday night was a mixed blessing, the bar was nearly empty but the people milling around inside made up the seediest side of Storybrooke.  At the bar were two men, one of whom was rather greasy looking and dark while the other was lighter and looked cleaner but the way he was glowering at the two pretty women chatting up the pharmacist at a pool table for drinks put Gold ill at ease.  Tom Clark apparently had no sense of self-preservation, but that was hardly Gold’s problem.  A few other people clustered in small groups around the bar made up the rest of the evening’s patrons.  Gold was a little surprised to see so many here on a weeknight, but he also sincerely doubted the majority of them had regular jobs.

The bartender visibly blanched when he saw Gold and scurried off to collect the rent from the back room, leaving his patrons to nurse their drinks unsupervised.  The girls who were flirting their way into free drinks by the pool table let out matching shrieks of laughter and the two men eyeing them from the bar became visibly more annoyed and began whispering to each other in low tones.

Finally, his money was brought to him and Gold accepted it in fingertips before wrapping it in a handkerchief and shoving it in his pocket.  He really hated this place.  As he turned to leave, the shorter of the two girls from the pool table bumped into him on her way to the bar.

"Oh sorry," she giggled, her hand remaining longer than he was comfortable with on his shoulder where she’d caught herself before he shrugged her off.

"Perhaps you should watch where you’re going in the future," he growled but she seemed unaffected, ordering another round for her friends and waiting while the drinks were poured.

Gold glared at the back of her head, more annoyed than he should probably have been that she was ignoring him and forgetting his initial purpose of getting the hell out of here before he caught something from one of the seats.

The blonde man who had been shooting the young woman the evil eye sidled over, grabbing her arm and turning her to face him.

"Lacey," he demanded.  "What the hell do you think you’re doing?"

"What does it look like I’m doing?" the woman identified as Lacey shouted, jerking her arm out of his grip and coming damn close to smacking Gold in the face.

"It looks like you’re making a whore out of yourself for drinks," the blonde man yelled back, trying to grab her shoulder as she stumbled backward away from him.

"It’s none of your business who I talk to or what I do," she poked him in the chest.  "I’m not your fiancee anymore, Brad.  I can do what I like."

"You’re still living on my fucking sofa, Lacey."

"And I’m still paying some of the fucking rent so you can shove it."

Gold had decided he’d had quite enough of this domestic dispute, and decided to get the hell out of the building before he was forced to give a statement to the sheriff when things went horribly, horribly wrong.

"As long as you’re living in my apartment you’re going to stop fucking hitting on other guys," Brad was becoming louder and Gold was pretty sure he was not on his first drink of the evening.

Lacey was either brave, stupid, or so used to his temper that she didn’t even notice that he was a threat to her.  Gold wasn’t sure which explanation he preferred, frankly.  She was obnoxious, but she was rather small and he didn’t think even obnoxious women deserved to deal with physical threats.

"I will do whatever I damn well please," she shouted back, seemingly oblivious to the danger at hand as she spun around, grabbed Gold’s tie and kissed him hard.

He should have pushed her off, but he was so taken aback by the act that he could do nothing but freeze as she teased his lips and dipped her tongue in between them before breaking off the kiss and tossing a smirk at her ex.

Brad, however, seemed to take nearly as much exception to her behavior as Gold had (although granted, Gold was still staring at her dumbly and trying to figure out a barb to shoot at her but he honestly couldn’t remember the last time someone had actually  _kissed_  him so his mind was moving a little slower than usual).  What happened next happened so fast, Gold almost couldn’t keep up.  The larger man lunged towards Lacey where she stood next to Gold, and she yelped and dove behind the pawnbroker.  The bartender started yelling for Brad to take it outside, but it was too late because the idiot decided to physically grab for Gold to get to Lacey.

Gold may have been older and smaller, but he was also armed and it turned out that age and size were no defense against a cane to the temple.

One hit and Brad was laid out on the ground, breathing but blissfully silent.  Lacey stood over him with her hands cupped over her mouth, glancing between the giant on the floor and the man who she’d accidentally endangered.  Everyone else had gone dead silent and was staring at Gold.

"I hate the Rabbit Hole," Gold finally muttered to himself before striding back out the way he’d come.  He made a mental note to have someone else collect the rent next month, or maybe he’d just make the bartender bring the cash to him.

Either way, if he never saw Lacey or Brad again it would be too damn soon.


End file.
